From his July 2012 Q& A with Randy Dotinga at the Christian Science Monitor:
Q: What lessons can we learn from the Littleton community and how it's dealt with Columbine for 13 years now?--Marshal Zeringue
A: The victims want you to know one thing: Don't rush to healing. Give the victims time and space. The longer it goes on, the more profoundly they feel that, and the more angry they are with the public and the media.
The first week, the whole country is in mourning for them. And within, say, six months, we hear these inspiring stories of the kid in the wheelchair who's learning to walk again. We want to hear the inspirational stories of overcoming adversity.
But the survivors feel like the public doesn't want to hear any more "whining." The victims start to hear that as "How can I make you shut up. I want you to get over this so you're done, and we're done with you."
The victims resent that. They feel, "I'm not ready to heal, I don't want to process this just to please you."
Some victims need forever to be sad about it. They want time to heal and space to do it in their own way, and they don't want a lot of well-intentioned help.
Q: It's amazing how victims are often so willing to talk to the media after these tragedies. Is that good for them?
A: The jury is still out on that.
We used to think it's healthy to talk about these things, and it can be, but...[read on]
